Open Journals
Title |   28 july 2017
Name
Esther
Date
2017-07-28 23:37
  • · Looking upon JESUS : 30%
  • · Obeying the Word: 30%
  • · Word(devotion) :
  • · Prayer :
  • · Amen ( 0 )
  • · Those who said Amen :
  • No Amen, yet
Today i woke up late~
I only prayed, I didn't do my QT
I prepared all my belongings and hurried to go to church cuz i have appointment with 영미 samonim, 김정미사모님 and 간사님.. after long time, finally we meet~
But i was really sorry cuz i was late~
Using the map i tried to come more early
But I couldn't and because my mind was si messy I couldn't read book that i prepared to read~
Yes, it wasn't good start~ ㅠㅠ
Sorry God~ actually i have to sleep early and prepared my self but i am not~
Recently i am bad on self control~
Yes, it is one of The fruits of Holy Spirit~
But i am really far for it.
I realized it from long time ago, but today, I felt so bad because of it~
God, help me to bear the fruits of Holy Spirit, specially "self control"
Yes, it is only possible if you become the king in my life, heart, soul and mind oh God. So please ruling over me and be the only one king in me~

We ate good food and talked. I will miss this moments. Thankyou God for give them to me. Thanks for Your kindness , You give me a perfect people in your perfect time. I'm blessed.
영미 언니 move today. Actually in the deep of my heart i am so sad. She is really like my sister, i can come and talk to her freely everytime~ but I believe your time is a perfect time for anyone. For her family, for her ministry and for me too here~ i believe that it doesn't mean over except for the beginning of all. I believe in You God~
Bless their new ministry there, and bless onni waiting for joy's birth.. You're with them there and with me here, so everything will be okay,^^ thanks God
And see u soon joy~

I came back to office, hear music and find out pension for worship team. Then i prepared for my self for tomorrow "prayer meeting"
It is from numbers 10:1-10.
I asked my self, when was the last time God spoke to me? Lately what is The signs that God given me? Did i wait God for starting everything? Am i in God's presence everytime? Suddenly I felt tremble~ i am so sad~
Recently I don't have time, no actually I do not give My time to wait He speaks to me~ I do not give Him opportunity to speak to me~ ㅠㅠ recently when i realized about something that God told me, i didn't give time to my spirit to really meditated it. I didn't the Spirit time to move to the way that God want. All the "grace" is only passing~ㅠㅠ i am really far from You God~ㅠㅠ
I am ashamed of myself.. i lied to You, i didn't keep my promise to You God~ now, i am tremble- i am thirsty and hungry for You..i am so ashamed but i want to start again- i want You to heal me, to cleans me~ Give me strength to stand in awe of You.. I am so grateful that today preparation time become a confession time to me~ God,help me! God heal me!

Nowadays i didn't go to Friday night service. Gsic always have practice on sunday~ Unfortunately i can't hear the sermon but i'm so thankful to see and experience God's people who faithful in Him. How they pray and take care one another~ and how loyal them for God's work~
Yes, life is the best testimony to know who is God!
Thankyou God~ Please help and lead me~ let's walk and work together~
I love You~