Open Journals
Title |   Help me oh God
Name
Esther
Date
2017-04-22 22:40
  • · Looking upon JESUS : 30%
  • · Obeying the Word: 30%
  • · Word(devotion) :
  • · Prayer :
  • · Amen ( 1 )
  • · Those who said Amen :
  • Park
It's Long time i didn't write spiritual journal
Yeap because i was so busy
But actually busy also can't be a reason
Cuz if i really loved and wanted, of course no reason for not to it. And actually last night i really wanted to write but cuz i felt angry for something I dedicated to just sleep to make my emotions calm down
Today morning i also started my day with bad and emotional feeling
I started to calm down, prayed n not talking to make myself felt more peace
Yeah like bible said
Your face show ur heart, my face is really bad whole day. I tried to smile n made my feelings up but it's not really worked, ㅠㅠ
But i am thankful for God
He didn't let me alone
Although i have so many things to do, i let them go n started to shared with people
At lunch chinese friend asked to go lunch together and treated. Then i treated ice cream. And at 3 we are leader meeting, dinner n sharing until 10. Yeah although I can't do translations and my homework but i felt God with me through all these things. I am so great and thankful for that. It's look like God want to comfort me. Don't let me go more stress n tired cuz of my workings, my papers n translations. He doesn't want me lost my joy. Cuz he knew I already lost it in the morning
And tonight i lost it again
When i came back to room
And keeping debate.
I don't want
Actually i tried to receive everythings n keep passionate, I tired my best to hold back but now i think i am over limited
I was always relented n let she talked everythings she wanted to say n of course i'll be the suspect.
But I can't hold anymore
I am so tired
She's so selfish. Oh God, actually i don't want to say it. But she's really have to be the center. N i have to say yes for anything n follow everything she want n her rules. Not just it i have to follow her mood.
And then i still be the suspect
I am so tired. I am angry
Although i still hold my self to not really talked everythings to her n to not angry but silent. I am so angry God
Help me~~
I don't want to make wrong decisions n I don't want to hurt her with my words cuz if i talk maybe i will talk everythings that I don't like and maybe can't hurt her so much. That's why i silent
But i am angry~ ㅠㅠ
Help me God~ ㅠㅠ
Tomorrow is your day. I hope my heart cleansed . I want my heart pure so you can stay there. That's why i heard worship songs n pray n write this journal so You can touch my heart n my soul
Help me God, Lead me~ clean me n forgive me