Open Journals
Title |   [tranquil heart, 平靜心 ]
2016-12-23 20:23
  • · Looking upon JESUS : 100%
  • · Obeying the Word: 100%
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  • · Those who said Amen :
  • Esther
12. 23.
[tranquil heart, 平靜心 ]

It is not easy to keep tranquil heart when everything around me is upside down.
At the last day of November, I was so disturbed.
I guessed that about 700,000 won from the project team.
But the project leader and I miscalculated.
The money I got was 0 won.

December was the coldest days in my life ever.
God always with me and says every good thing.
And God eventually told to me to start new ministry, educating and encouraging single-mom and singles for free.
Yes. God’s ministry is now greatly prosperous.
Over 20 peoples applied and, I think, they will get benefit whether they are Christian or non-believer.

As Paul, the wider the door that God opens for me to minister the people, the harder the life and, especially money situation for me.
Yes, indeed. It’s so hard for me to bear.

It is not complaining against God, or against people.
It is hardness for myself in my heart.
Yesterday, I was on the road, in the cold car, it was hard.
Today, I found that I can get only 400,000 from the client, as the payment for the translation of the one month before.
I have to pay back to my friends, for Japan airline fee about 1 million won.
I apologized to them and one of them say OK.

Today, my friend took the car that she has gave me with hard sayings in text message.

It’s OK
It’s OK
It’s OK

I really hardly grasp my hope for life, for ministry, for study, for money, for car, on the earth and in the heaven. And I have mother who does not know everything in detail, ever.
In this library, I’m alone. So I can weep freely.

While I’m crying, I can feel His presence, so comfortable and so warm, even hot.
My life is in His hand.
My finance is also in His hand.

But you know? It’s hard thing for me to bear.
Every thing seems to say ‘Give up!’
But I won’t!
I will pass it on, go forth.
Money is matter. But it is just a tool. Without money, God can save the soul.
In case of all the money of mine have lost, God will take me up to the heaven.
There’s no disappointment nor depression at all!
Nothing to be given up for man who is living on the earth!
So, get up! Grace!

God is even nearer to me when I face to the trouble!